AS THE MEDIATOR FOR YOU AND YOUR WIFE:
I will guide you and your wife to identify your interests rather than what each of you think are your entitlements.
If you have children, I will emphasize the need to do what is best for them.
I will use my experience and training as a mediator to bring the two of you together to formulate your own divorce agreement.
I will prepare a formal Divorce Separation Agreement to be reviewed by your respective attornies.
I will help the two of you make the best of a difficult time.
I will likely save each of you the money, time, and emotional trauma involved in Adversarial and Collaborative Divorce.
Divorce Mediation
Although Mediation is one of three options for divorce in Massachusetts, Mediation may not be the best approach for all divorcing couples. However—when appropriate—mediation can save time and avoid the discomfort of adversarial proceedings.
In mediation, the mediator concentrates on "interests" rather than "positions" or "entitlements".
For example, your wife's position might be that she is entitled to the van, therefore, you should get the sedan. If you disagree, only a judge can settle the dispute as to who is entitled to the van. In Mediation, the question is not who is "entitled" but rather what is the "interest" in the van. If your wife wants to use the van to start a home-based business and earn an income, then you, realizing that you may be paying less support, may agree to give up the van.
In Massachusetts, a mediator cannot, by law, give legal advice. Many mediators require each spouse to have an attorney with whom the spouse may consult if necessary. In mediation, a spouse's attorney usually does not attend sessions and typically acts as an advisor not an advocate.
Point to Consider
Gay men considering mediation may want to reconsider if there is evidence that the wife is in no hurry to get a divorce. Mediation lasts as long as both parties continue to participate; therefore it is easier to put off divorce if the parties stay in mediation.
